Spontaneity

Last Saturday morning, Nigel and I were sitting outside having a cup of coffee. Our conversation led to the Okanagan and our family living there. "We should just go to the Okanagan for the day!" Nigel blurted out.

"You're kidding right." I questioned.

"No, I'm not. Let's be spontaneous and go!" Nigel enthusiastically answered.

My mind protested. What about my sprouts? I have to rinse them twice a day. Where would we sleep? Do the kids have any clean clothes left over after a week of playing in the sun and playing hooky from the laundry? Do we have any travelling snacks to pack?.......Etc.........

I must have spoken my thoughts out loud as Nigel's response was simple and clear. "Stop thinking and be spontaneous. Come on, let's go and have fun."

Spontaneity is a tough one for me. I am learning to be more and more spontaneous all the time. My children are definitely my teachers. Impulsive outings for the day are more and more frequent around here thanks to their enthusiasm for exploring and adventuring.

But a nine hour, round trip, unplanned road trip with 6 kids aged 11 and under! I felt a little out of my comfort zone. I tried hard but just couldn't see the beauty inherent in the chaos of that spontaneous outing!

Truth be told, I am devoted to planning and preparation. It helps me maintain physical and mental health. Structure lends me security. The focus gives me sanity. For me, the anticipation and thought out preparation prior to a trip is an integral part of the experience.

I went inside to pour us another cup of coffee and happened to glance over at the message for the day on the page a day calender. It ironically said, "Try giving up some of your structure for a short time and see if the world really falls apart like you thought it would."

I returned outside with our coffee and announced to everyone that they better start packing their backpacks because we were going on a road trip to the Okanagan.

An hour later with spirits high, we were on the road. It was a great trip! Everyone got along, things just flowed, and despite the busyness of such a short trip, we all came home refreshed and energized. I guess there is beauty inherent in the chaos of spontaneity after all!

In Search of Non Doing

It seems as if lately most of my days are spent in a constant state of doing, searching for that elusive day of non-doing. My mind is the culprit, always planning and plotting, seeking and thinking. Expectations and anticipations become my day if my mind has it's way. Thoughts of I "should" be..... or nagging notions of I "need" to..... float around in my head, trying to convince me to keep doing and going, going, going......instead of just allowing the day to be. My interest doesn't lie is sitting around and doing nothing rather it gravitates towards allowing the day to unfold naturally like a flower blossoms- slow, deliberate, graceful....perfect. I wouldn't dream of trying to force open a blossom. I know it would be ruined. Why am I allowing my mind to force the day instead of letting it unfold naturally? This post has helped me see that I need not search any farther for that elusive day of non-doing. In the midst of mortgage and insurance renewals, appointments, commitments, mountain high stacks of dishes, dirty diapers, continuous laundry, and chores, I gratefully see that I have a heavy load on my hands but the heavy is in my head. Every day has the potentiality to be a day of non-doing. All I need to do is breathe, sweep away the useless mental clutter in my mind and trust that everything will unfold as it is meant to. If I work at everything as though I am working at nothing then I can stop chasing a day of non-doing and start living one.

Sprouts!

I have been growing my own sprouts for a few weeks now and am delighting in the process. I picked up a sprout starter pack and a variety of seeds from a health food store while we were on vacation in the Okanagan. I have always wanted to grow my own and include more in my diet because of the many health benefits. Initially, I thought growing sprouts would be complicated nevertheless I was pleasingly surprised. The only commitment is being sure to rinse them so twice a day, I participate in the rhythmic routine of rinsing and swirling and then rinsing and draining. I find this process meditative and grounding, not to mention distracting from the other kitchen duties that seem to be in a constant state of perpetual motion :) So far, I've grown two batches of alfalfa sprouts and we've enjoyed them on salads, sandwiches and even on their own. Tomorrow I am going to try growing a blend titled Spicy Lentil Crunch. Yummy!

Watching

Today, we had a busy day working on our back yard, digging and cementing fence posts, mowing the new lawn, cleaning up, etc...The kids floated back and forth from helping, to playing, to sitting around the fire and hanging out. I observed the kids in their active, exuberant play and was reminiscent of the many memorable summer days from my childhood. Truthfully, I felt too busy today to completely embrace the day. I was only able to commit to a job or need for a short time before being pulled to another need or job. Helping mix concrete, leveling posts, wiping sticky hands, fixing snacks, getting drinks, flipping over the laundry and dishwasher, sweeping up tracked in dirt, bandaging up scraped knees, answering phone calls, making meals and trying to mow the lawn kept me too busy and preoccupied to feel and enjoy summer's presence like the kids were doing. This evening started to pass in much of the same fashion and then Tayven reminded me of something important. He came running in from outside, out of breath and exhilarated.

"Mom! Mom, you got to come outside and see this. It is so amazing!"

So I went outside with him and he showed me the sunset through the trees in our backyard.

"Isn't it beautiful, mom?"

It was beautiful. I stood with Tayven for a few minutes and looked at the sunset with him. I kept feeling a nagging urge to go back inside and finish cleaning up after dinner and get the girls ready for a bath and bedtime so I thanked Tayven for showing me the sunset and told him that I enjoyed looking at it with him.

"No, mom, don't go. Just a couple more minutes. And you can't just look at the sunset, you have to watch it."

Oh yeah. That was something I seemed to be forgetting all day. I thanked Tayven for reminding me of something so important and stayed outside and watched the sun set against the trees. Bright expressive colors of gold, orange, yellow and red illuminated the sky. It was truly spectacular and exhilarating. I can't believe that I almost missed that!

The sun was setting quickly, turning the sky into a glowing, shimmering gold and Tayven decided that he wanted to take a picture of it so he ran inside, grabbed the camera and captured the sun just as it was falling beneath the trees.

Thank you Tayven for reminding me that watching is magical and enchanting!

Giving

Recently, while out shopping on a very busy day at Cosco , I invited a mother and her son ahead of me in line. They had only two items and I had a cart full to the brim. They accepted my offer with a thank you and a smile. I finally made my way through the checkout and out to the van where I started packing away my small fortune of purchases. I had just finished removing the last item in my cart when a man came over with his cart and offered to take my cart along with his to the storage area. I smiled and thanked him for his kind gesture. Driving home, I reflected on this experience with appreciation. I believe in the power of selfless generosity. Giving helps us become more mindful of our inner wealth. Giving feels good. I am never kind or generous for personal gain nevertheless kindness and generosity come back my way. Rarely is it instantaneous like it was at Cosco. Usually, it is subtle and random. There is no law or order to it, it just simply is. My kindness and generosity come in many forms. A smile, advice, listening, waving a car in front of me, sharing and helping are just a few examples. They also come back my way in many forms. It is the epitome of the ripple effect. The perpetual motion of giving reminds us of interconnectedness and flux. Everything is connected to everything else and is in constant motion. My children subtly remind me of this all the time. Daily they share with me their fullness of their being, their enthusiasm, their vitality, their trust, their openness, their innocence and their love. They give without any thought of gain or return. It is beautiful. It is amazing. It is transforming. It is impressively powerful.....it is the act of giving.