My 3 Sons

Among the many unique and individual characteristic traits my sons have, their selfless generosity and altruistic demeanor really stand out. During a major renovation project at my sister's and brother-in-law's, Silas, Tayven and Zaniel were over at their house lending a helping hand and their strong muscles. Daily, for about five days, they volunteered their time and energy and worked hard, helping out with whatever was asked of them. Their actions made my heart smile and fill with mama pride. No one asked them if they could help out or even suggested that their assistance would be appreciated. They just simply gave of themselves. Other kids in the neighbourhood could be seen riding their bikes, playing in sprinklers and having summertime fun but that didn't distract my sons one iota. They knew that there would be many summer fun filled days ahead and choose instead to learn all about what was involved in removing an old, rotten floor of an addition and correctly replacing it. To them, being mentored by older family members, sweat, blisters and sore muscles was unequivocally worth giving up a few sun drenched days of summer. Many years in the future, I know that they will look back at this summer and have scattered, fuzzy memories of swim lessons, hikes, trips to the lake, sleepovers, vacations and fun with friends but those five days of hard work and selfless generosity will be what stands out. For it often is that the sense of accomplishment and the sharing of family unity are the essence of impressive and unforgettable memories.

My Three Daughters

Fairy Princesses, Queens and Ballerinas oh my! These 3 lovely little daughters of mine are deliciously creative and imaginative. Always the first ones up in the household, their mornings are perpetually greeted with giggles and excited chatter of the day's plans. Soon after, I'm awoken by soft chubby hands stroking my face, butterfly kisses and snuggles under the covers. By the time I persuade myself out of bed and pry my eyes open with a cup of coffee, the girls are well into making wonderfully magical creations and discoveries. They know that life is good, living is wonderful and intrinsically follow their inner guidance from one joyful discovery to another. Dress up, crafts, painting, drawing, puzzles, games, exploring and adventuring are often accomplished well before lunch. These girls are busy! I have learned a lot from them. They embrace each day's potentiality with a delighted hug and live life to it's fullest. A lot of adults I know and children for that matter, make their way through life in a foggy, unaware fashion. I feel so blessed to have these 3 little angels around, reminding me just how delightfully joyous life is when you set out to explore and discover all life has to offer.

Surrendering

Can I let go of my own expectations for what I wanted the day to be and surrender to the necessity and beauty of what has emerged.
~Myla Kabat-Zinn



Lately this has been my mantra. I have the above picture and wonderfully inspiring quote printed off and taped to my fridge. Having 6 kids, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and this provides an excellent opportunity to frequently be reminded of this powerful message. It has helped me fully realize that things already are perfect, perfectly what they are. Meditating on this quote is synonymous with my practice of mindful parenting.
By holding the present moment in its fullness and without imposing anything on it, I am blessed to perceive each pure and fresh moment give rise to the next pure and fresh moment. Like a flower in bloom, each day also unfolds and opens with an effortless flow. Gratefully, I am learning to give up coercing, resisting, struggling and imposing for allowing, letting go, surrendering and appreciating. It is a powerful and wholesome exchange. I believe this will be a lifetime practice and that is perfectly fine for me. My children are my constant and patient teachers. Whenever I need gentle reminders, I simply need to witness the emergence of pure beauty and flow which comes over their days. They intrinsically know how to enjoy life and I am fully committed to follow their lead.

Spontaneity

Last Saturday morning, Nigel and I were sitting outside having a cup of coffee. Our conversation led to the Okanagan and our family living there. "We should just go to the Okanagan for the day!" Nigel blurted out.

"You're kidding right." I questioned.

"No, I'm not. Let's be spontaneous and go!" Nigel enthusiastically answered.

My mind protested. What about my sprouts? I have to rinse them twice a day. Where would we sleep? Do the kids have any clean clothes left over after a week of playing in the sun and playing hooky from the laundry? Do we have any travelling snacks to pack?.......Etc.........

I must have spoken my thoughts out loud as Nigel's response was simple and clear. "Stop thinking and be spontaneous. Come on, let's go and have fun."

Spontaneity is a tough one for me. I am learning to be more and more spontaneous all the time. My children are definitely my teachers. Impulsive outings for the day are more and more frequent around here thanks to their enthusiasm for exploring and adventuring.

But a nine hour, round trip, unplanned road trip with 6 kids aged 11 and under! I felt a little out of my comfort zone. I tried hard but just couldn't see the beauty inherent in the chaos of that spontaneous outing!

Truth be told, I am devoted to planning and preparation. It helps me maintain physical and mental health. Structure lends me security. The focus gives me sanity. For me, the anticipation and thought out preparation prior to a trip is an integral part of the experience.

I went inside to pour us another cup of coffee and happened to glance over at the message for the day on the page a day calender. It ironically said, "Try giving up some of your structure for a short time and see if the world really falls apart like you thought it would."

I returned outside with our coffee and announced to everyone that they better start packing their backpacks because we were going on a road trip to the Okanagan.

An hour later with spirits high, we were on the road. It was a great trip! Everyone got along, things just flowed, and despite the busyness of such a short trip, we all came home refreshed and energized. I guess there is beauty inherent in the chaos of spontaneity after all!

In Search of Non Doing

It seems as if lately most of my days are spent in a constant state of doing, searching for that elusive day of non-doing. My mind is the culprit, always planning and plotting, seeking and thinking. Expectations and anticipations become my day if my mind has it's way. Thoughts of I "should" be..... or nagging notions of I "need" to..... float around in my head, trying to convince me to keep doing and going, going, going......instead of just allowing the day to be. My interest doesn't lie is sitting around and doing nothing rather it gravitates towards allowing the day to unfold naturally like a flower blossoms- slow, deliberate, graceful....perfect. I wouldn't dream of trying to force open a blossom. I know it would be ruined. Why am I allowing my mind to force the day instead of letting it unfold naturally? This post has helped me see that I need not search any farther for that elusive day of non-doing. In the midst of mortgage and insurance renewals, appointments, commitments, mountain high stacks of dishes, dirty diapers, continuous laundry, and chores, I gratefully see that I have a heavy load on my hands but the heavy is in my head. Every day has the potentiality to be a day of non-doing. All I need to do is breathe, sweep away the useless mental clutter in my mind and trust that everything will unfold as it is meant to. If I work at everything as though I am working at nothing then I can stop chasing a day of non-doing and start living one.

Sprouts!

I have been growing my own sprouts for a few weeks now and am delighting in the process. I picked up a sprout starter pack and a variety of seeds from a health food store while we were on vacation in the Okanagan. I have always wanted to grow my own and include more in my diet because of the many health benefits. Initially, I thought growing sprouts would be complicated nevertheless I was pleasingly surprised. The only commitment is being sure to rinse them so twice a day, I participate in the rhythmic routine of rinsing and swirling and then rinsing and draining. I find this process meditative and grounding, not to mention distracting from the other kitchen duties that seem to be in a constant state of perpetual motion :) So far, I've grown two batches of alfalfa sprouts and we've enjoyed them on salads, sandwiches and even on their own. Tomorrow I am going to try growing a blend titled Spicy Lentil Crunch. Yummy!

Watching

Today, we had a busy day working on our back yard, digging and cementing fence posts, mowing the new lawn, cleaning up, etc...The kids floated back and forth from helping, to playing, to sitting around the fire and hanging out. I observed the kids in their active, exuberant play and was reminiscent of the many memorable summer days from my childhood. Truthfully, I felt too busy today to completely embrace the day. I was only able to commit to a job or need for a short time before being pulled to another need or job. Helping mix concrete, leveling posts, wiping sticky hands, fixing snacks, getting drinks, flipping over the laundry and dishwasher, sweeping up tracked in dirt, bandaging up scraped knees, answering phone calls, making meals and trying to mow the lawn kept me too busy and preoccupied to feel and enjoy summer's presence like the kids were doing. This evening started to pass in much of the same fashion and then Tayven reminded me of something important. He came running in from outside, out of breath and exhilarated.

"Mom! Mom, you got to come outside and see this. It is so amazing!"

So I went outside with him and he showed me the sunset through the trees in our backyard.

"Isn't it beautiful, mom?"

It was beautiful. I stood with Tayven for a few minutes and looked at the sunset with him. I kept feeling a nagging urge to go back inside and finish cleaning up after dinner and get the girls ready for a bath and bedtime so I thanked Tayven for showing me the sunset and told him that I enjoyed looking at it with him.

"No, mom, don't go. Just a couple more minutes. And you can't just look at the sunset, you have to watch it."

Oh yeah. That was something I seemed to be forgetting all day. I thanked Tayven for reminding me of something so important and stayed outside and watched the sun set against the trees. Bright expressive colors of gold, orange, yellow and red illuminated the sky. It was truly spectacular and exhilarating. I can't believe that I almost missed that!

The sun was setting quickly, turning the sky into a glowing, shimmering gold and Tayven decided that he wanted to take a picture of it so he ran inside, grabbed the camera and captured the sun just as it was falling beneath the trees.

Thank you Tayven for reminding me that watching is magical and enchanting!